ABOUT US
Meet the Empire
Let us wake the dead and introduce the ghoulish gang behind Spirit Empire's spine-tingling tours. First off, we are PAINFULLY nerdy. We're like the Ghostbusters if their proton packs shot out dark tales of New Orleans instead of particle beams! 👻🔫
Our morose mastermind is none other than Edward Simon, PsyD, aka our lead storyteller, who unfortunately still gets compared to that guy in ‘Twilight.” However, this cat comes fully loaded with doctorate-level mind powers PLUS multiple macabre specialties:
🧠 Doctor of Clinical Psychology
👻 Parapsychology credentials from the University of Edinburgh, Scotland
🧛 Demonology certification via Bishop James Long of the Old Catholic Church
🧙 And lifelong roots in NOLA tracing back to the 1800s, so he knows where the bodies are buried...literally
With all that under his funeral garb, Dr. Death helps lead our "Queen City of the Damned Tour," guaranteed to resurrect New Orleans' freakiest frights and make guests wish they wore their brown pants or brought spare undies! 👖💩
The Restless Roots Behind Spirit Empire
Years ago, Dr. Edward and creepy colleagues grew weary of ghost tours trafficking in false frights on every corner. They craved the hardcore haunts! The blood-curdling killings and verified villainous vectors of supernatural sorrow!
Where were the authenticated tales of tragedy, abandoned mansions with unsettled spirits wandering the wards, and legit voodoo rituals passed down through generations??
Nowhere boo, so they summoned Spirit Empire to manifest this town's legendary haunted heritage in all its spine-chilling glory. We deal in COLD HARD PARANORMAL FACTS only - no fluffy fiction allowed!
Come get weird with New Orleans' #1 crew on their signature "Queen City of the Damned Tour" as they guide you through the ghastly graves and disturbing dimensions tucked secretly away all over NOLA!
Just don't blame them when you never look at this town the same way again. 💀 Sweet screams, baby!
Dear Spooky Nerds,
Are you still reading this?! Well, then, welcome to the crumbling catacombs of Spirit Empire Tours! Please have a seat on this overturned tombstone while we chat about whether our ghostly-guided experiences are the right fit for your macabre interests...
Before we begin, here's a quick note about typical "About Us" pages - they often read like they were penned by corporate zombies in banal business suits. We keep things creepy yet casual over here at the Empire. Funeral attire is encouraged but not required!
Now, let's raise the dead and dig into the dirty details, shall we?
Three Reasons Our Tour Might NOT Be Your Cup Of Blood
We Make No Guarantees You'll See Ghosts
We get it - so many ghost tour outfits lure you in with lofty promises of face-to-face phantom encounters. But let's not sugarcoat it - physically seeing a ghost is rare, even in famously haunted places like New Orleans. Tuning into their eldritch frequencies is no easy feat for average mortals. There is more hype than reality.
We share this paranormal truth in transparency upfront, so you don't come expecting to take casual spirit selfies. Their apparitions are unpredictable, their visitations brief. Aligning timelines between the living and dead proves extraordinarily difficult. This is partly why, when it (rarely) happens, it feels extraordinarily precious.
If you simply can't abide a ghost tour without the guarantee of gory ghosts, we regretfully must bid you adieu and wish you the very best. No hard feelings from beyond! For everyone else still with us, read on...if you dare.
No Costumed Performers
Regarding New Orleans' dark, sordid history, we deal in cold, hard FACTS - not exaggerated tall tales or total fiction masquerading as truth. Hyperbole and speculation have their place, but our doctor cleaves to stories vetted as thoroughly as possible, given their ancient nature. We'll gladly bend your ear about a famously eerie location or character steeped more in legend than record, but we'll disclose what details live in lore versus history.
Additionally, you won't find our guides clad in outlandish vampire costumes or Goth gear purely meant to entertain. We haunt the streets dressed (mostly) like regular humans, focused on delivering chilling content, not kooky cosplay. That's just not our grim style.
Our Tour is NOT a Raucous Pub Crawl
Indeed, imbibing spirits often accompanies communing with spirits in New Orleans! And responsible adult beverages are more than welcome on our tour within reason. But stumbling-down drunk patrons simply don't vibe with our approach...or most creepy cemeteries. Rowdy rum hounds quickly find themselves removed so as not to disturb the group's experience. This ain't no party bus, ya heard?
We strive for our tours to balance macabre entertainment with paranormal enlightenment for grown guests. So by all means, drink...but drink RE-animator style. 🧟
Still here with us, fiends? Excellent, let's delve into the shadows of Spirit Empire Tours then...
What We Offer Guests Brave Enough To Haunt With Us...
🧛 Exhaustively Researched New Orleans Ghost Stories, Legends & Lore
We won't pretend rumor is fact, but we'll still share the twisted tales if you wish to hear them! We'll disclose what history can confirm versus what remains intriguing improbableness. But either way, our good doctor researches relentlessly to provide the most compellingly complete versions possible.
🧟 Shameless But Valuable Invitations To Book Paid Tours
Let's not hover in the shadows about this - we run a business! We don't expect you to pay for something sight unseen, but we WILL invite you to purchase tickets for our tours if you enjoy our free content.
How so? Well, we work our undead butts off, providing value via blogs, emails, social posts, etc, so you can sample our style. If those vibes pull you in, it seems only fair to ask you to eventually put skin in the game and book a full tour! That funds our continued operations and research...eternal life gets expensive.
🦇 Still Unsure If We Can Satisfy Your Macabre Curiosities?
Understandable! So do some spectral recon by checking our website & socials for samples. If those 1st tastes seem savory, sign up for our email newsletter and Facebook. Descend deeper into our darkness, and determine if you'd like one of our guides to drag you further down the rabbit hole in person...
Our Story In A Shadowy Nutshell
Hurricane Katrina stirred up painful debates about abandoning New Orleans that cut deep for natives like us whose roots trace locally back to the 1860s.
This city belongs to the dead as much as the living, making it essential - a haunted habitat where time slows to a funeral crawl. An uneasy meeting place between two worlds that leaves weary souls feeling strangely revived. To lose it would lose a conduit to forces unseen yet keenly felt by inhabitants over three centuries...
In response, we became tour guides to advocate for the city's eclectic darkness by sharing true & thrilling tales of horror. But we quickly bristled against the industry's priority on entertainment over education & accuracy. We said goodbye to inauthenticity and founded Spirit Empire to raise the bar, bonded by a passion for interpreting the restlessness of New Orleans' troubled dead.
We pored over creepy tomes by literary icons to steep ourselves in the city’s photographic memory of mayhem. Their writings helped solidify the thematic foundation of our signature tour.
Now, having hosted celebrities and civilians alike seeking our specialized take on Crescent City’s shadow side, we aim to provide guests with an unforgettable eerie experience that also feels unexpectedly comfortable.
Because while ghosts can startle, truth should never stop your heart.
What's Next On Your Spooky New Orleans Agenda, Lost Souls?
🕷 Explore our shadowy web content to determine if our unconventional approach resonates
🕸 If so, sign up for exclusive email updates from the crypt and connect on social media to descend deeper
🕷 Ultimately, join us for a late-night walk on the wild side if you dare...
Thanks for reading this short novel, fiends! Here's hoping you discover whatever beautifully dark truths brought you to New Orleans’ restless shores...
Now, then, are you sufficiently intrigued? Or have we bored you to "death"? In either case, we are dying to know your thoughts! We welcome any feedback from either side of the veil...
